Flatline, 2014

First viewing.

I needed something short. This is 8 minutes. It’s from Australia. Did I mention it’s short. A lot of effort sure went into it. Yep.

The Best Years of Our Lives, 1946

First viewing.

Bette Davis said this is the best movie ever made. I don’t know when she said that. It has all the good actors, characters, situations, dialogue, everything that makes a good movie, so I can see it. But I found it a bit wet.

I wonder where she kept the rest of her shoes. Oh, right, wartime scarcity.

The Journey: Absolution, 1997

First viewing, Rifftrax, on Prime for free which is the only way I would watch it.

This movie is very gay porny, yet boring, even with gratuitous Jaime Pressly whom I love. It has famous people I’ve never seen in anything else, like Mario Lopez and Richard Grieco. Oh, wait, Richard Grieco was in A Night at the Roxbury, playing himself.

Red, Hot and Blue 1944

First viewing. Could only find it on YT.

This movie was released in 1949. My dad suggested this to me, knowing I like film noir of this period and love Victor Mature, however he neglected to mention it’s a comedy with song and dance (and gangsters). However it must have made an impression because he remembered it after all this time, and that is strictly to the credit of Betty Hutton. She sings and dances her head and ass off and is generally batshit. Victor Mature collects a paycheck.

Also features a very early television. They haven’t learned how to watch yet.

A Modern Cinderella, 1932

First viewing

Love these little Ruth Etting shorts. They’re like music videos but with the slimmest of stories. 

Some nice early process photography where the dressmaker’s daughter imagines she’s at the Cinderella themed party. This is the flavor of Cinderella I grew up with. Except with more hoofing.

The Symbol of the Unconquered, 1920

First viewing.

This silent film is really something. Some footage is missing but a title card was placed in the film quoting a review of the film at the time it came out. What I wouldn’t give to see that footage.

The T-Bird Gang, 1959

First viewing, a Mads Are Back riffed film that I saved in my iPad to watch in the plane ride home.

Late 50’s crime nonsense with a very young Vic Tayback and never young Coleman Francis. You know you’re in for a fine film when the cast credits are misspelled. (Also starring not that Glenn Campbell).

Johnny English, 2003

First viewing, last movie at mom and dad’s, watched it after they went to bed.

I saw one of the sequels to this a few years ago, I can’t remember which one. There are a lot. I’m not a Mr. Bean fan but I am a Blackadder fan so I much more enjoy Rowan Atkinson when he is being suave-adjacent. 

This movie had a few laugh out loud moments, which for some reason I rarely experience when I’m alone.  Like when he gets his tie caught in the sushi conveyer. 

I liked it overall, it was refreshing.

Frankenstein, 1931

Many viewings, but the first time watching with my parents, and it also happened to be my mom’s birthday, so we’ve made a memory. “Remember that time we were watching Frankenstein on your birthday while I ruined dinner?” (FYI, you cannot make beef stroganoff with rigatoni so if that’s all that’s in the house, make something else).

This movie came out 90 years ago. NINETY YEARS AGO.

Stagecoach, 1939

Third viewing, at mom and dad’s in my room while my mother watched actual rodeo in the living room.

Nine strange people? Six, tops.

One of my favorite movies. Native Americans actually playing Native Americans. Great characters and scenes. Bonus actual young John Carradine, he was 33. 

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, 1953

Many viewings, first time watching it with my dad.

Sometimes it’s hard to find an easy-going movie to watch with elderly parents. My dad hates these kinds of movies but has been willing to suffer through some gorgeous women, costumes and scenery.

Oh, the rampant horniness of Jane Russell in this film.

Ghosts on the Loose, 1943

First viewing, in Arizona with my dad.

No ghosts or skeletons in this movie

One of the worst Bowery Boys movies I’ve seen. Terribly unfunny. No ghosts with knives.

Ava Gardner’s first movie at the age of 21, she has around five lines mostly consisting of variations of “Oh, not at all, darling”, and Bela Lugosi is in it for like five minutes.

Half the movie is about a wedding, then the married couple move into a house they bought that they’ve never seen next door to a big house with unexplained activity trying to be passed off as haunting. In reality Lugosi and friends are printing up Natzi pamphlets in the basement. Everything works out and they are caught, then at the end Huntz Hall gets “German measles”. Shame the print quality wasn’t better. Yes look closely at his face. Wow.

The Muppets Take Manhattan, 1984

First viewing, in Arizona with my parents. 

Wow. I appreciate the Muppets and Jim Henson as much as anyone able to appreciate the skill and intelligence of his work, but this was awful. Not funny. Corny and not in a good way. I fast-forwarded through a couple of the songs because they were interminable. Just because something is made for kids doesn’t mean you can’t make a movie adults can’t enjoy, too. This was not that.

However, Gates McFadden’s first movie. Glad she was able to convince people to keep hiring her.

Can You Imagine? 1936

First viewing, at my parents’ in Arizona, by myself after they went to bed.

One of those short films ala the much later Real People, not nearly as weird as Ripley’s Believe it or Not. The sole purpose of these films I believe is to fill time when people showed up late to the movies or between features during bathroom breaks.

First story, a Native American makes totem poles. “No he’s not advertising anything”.

Two farmer brothers carve very fancy clocks that they store in a barn.

A tree grows out of a steepled building.

The world’s smallest locomotive.

A woman who has a condition that causes large welts to rise when something presses on her skin.

A little boy wrestles with a lion.

A town crier, some cows get hosed down and shaved, some little girls run a dog-washing business.

Imagination must have been a bit simpler back then.

Soul, 2020

First viewing, on the plane going back to Arizona.

I’d heard this was good but I’d only seen clips of the normal scenes and read about how well done the lighting and details were, and yes, it was all that. Plus it has some good philosophy shit.

I was not expecting this, a cat and Tina Fey’s voice.

Pretty enjoyable and reading about how it was made was interesting, too.

Artistic Temper, 1932

First viewing

Love these little movies that are just an excuse to show Ruth Etting singing. In this one she is a singer married to a doctor who doesn’t want her in show business and hates show biz people. 

If I was a doctor and came home to this I’d be mad, too.

After he comes home unexpectedly and finds her giving a party for show people he puts his foot down and she puts her um, feet out. Five years later he finds her singing at a benefit for a hospital and he finally gets that show biz is can be a force for good.

Casablanca, 1942

Several viewings, but…

This is the first time I really got what was going on. I like it now.

Monster Pets, 2021

 First viewing, I needed something short.

I feel like I’m overusing the word “bonkers” lately so I’ll just say, if this is what the kids are watching these days, they’re alright.

Shampoo, 1975

First viewing all the way through because I was committed, it’s really awful.

One of those movies that happened to be starting on TCM when I was looking for a movie so I watched it.  My personal rule is that if I’ve watched more than ten minutes I have to watch the whole thing. Despite having a few of my favorite actors (Julie Christie, Goldie Hawk and a teen Carrie Fisher) it’s blech.

A Night at the Roxbury, 1997

First viewing.

I was in the mood for Will Ferrell and this was the only one on Prime for free. 

I watched the whole thing and didn’t hate it or anything. It’s what you’d expect from a movie based on an SNL skit. Dumb but not entirely humorless due solely to the magic of Will Ferrell.

Space Truckers, 1996

First viewing, Watch Party

This movie has a lot of well-done special effects. Shame they didn’t put as much work into the script.

Birds of Prey, 2020

First viewing, on the plane going home to San Francisco from Hawaii.

I don’t watch action superhero movies. Don’t read the comics. Only vaguely know about the characters because I worked at a party/costume store for six years right at the end of The Before Times. That’s probably why I kind of liked it. Great to see Rosie Perez. I had no idea the people in this action chick flick were supposed to be super heroes. It was fun most of the time.

The Incredible Mr. Limpet, 1963

Definitely not the first time I’ve seen it but I remembered absolutely nothing about it and I swear there’s another movie about a cartoon fish in a pond that talks to Don Knotts. Not sure how this movie came up in conversation with my friend in Hawaii but was happy to see ten seconds of supposed Honolulu during the WWII flashbacks.

I was trying to remember if the kids were all into World War Two and then I remembered, yes, yes they were. The funniest thing for me as an adult was the Rear Admiral named Spewter.

Bohemian Rhapsody, 2018

First viewing, suggested by Lisa in Hawaii

Queen fan from way back but not enough to have ever bought an album, they were a few years before my time. Dr. Brian May did reply to one of my tweets once, that was pretty exciting. Really good movie, loved the resemblances to the actual band members and I didn’t even recognize Mike Myers.

Shadow in the Cloud, 2020

First viewing, suggested by and watched with my friend in Hawaii.

She knows I like weird stuff. The production out of New Zealand fits that description. Pretty bonkers. Nothing made much sense but it was never boring. Watch it for free if you can and keep your expectations low.

Enjoy wondering what the hell.

Death at Love House, 1976

First viewing, in Hawaii

Made for TV movie with Kate Jackson, Robert Wagner and Sylvia Sidney with cameos by Dorothy Lamour, Joan Blondell and John Carradine. A writer and his wife move into the 1920s mansion of film star Lorna Love who died in 1935 to write a book about her. It has a lot more satanism in it than I was expecting. Nice ending, worth all the nonsense to get to it.